In 2010 to 2011 when I was in the religious life I experienced something in our house chapel that I don’t think I have shared up here, nor have I told it to many people. One day in October of 2010 I came home from the Seminary, and anytime I came into the house, the first place that I visited was the chapel and Our Lord. That particular day, I remember it was overcast, I left my book bag at the door and I walked up to my assigned pew in the front row on the far right side. I sat down in the darkness and told God how my day had gone at the Seminary. If I remember correctly, it had been rough day. There was a professor/Priest at the Seminary who went out of his way to make my life difficult, doing whatever he could to get me to quit. He told me one day after class that he was going to drive me out of the Seminary if he could and everyday I had to endure his wrath. Anyways.. so I was sitting in that pew praying and thanking God when I noticed something. I was looking up at the tabernacle behind the altar and I thought I saw the top of a person’s head bobbing back and forth behind the altar and directly in front of the tabernacle. I didn’t know what to think of it, so I got up and walked around the altar and saw nothing. I went back to my pew and sat back down. Immediately I saw it again, the hair was brown and I saw about 2-3 inches of the head above the top of the altar. I quickly got up and tip toed around the altar and again.. nothing was there. I was baffled and went and sat down again. A few moments passed and as I looked down at my breviary I heard what seemed like a shuffle, I looked back up and there was the head again going back and forth in front of the tabernacle. At that.. I got up and left. Several times through the rest of the year.. I saw the same thing. I thought then as I still believe today.. it must have been an angel, in the form of a child keeping guard in front of the tabernacle. And what happened to that Priest/Professor? Divine Justice was served at the end of my year in the Seminary. God rewards the just and punishes the cruel.
Saturday, March 07, 2015
I just read an article about a Christian Science believer that got me thinking about something that I have consistently experienced over the years in the proximity of evil or evil people. From my earliest memories, I can remember having a sensation when I was near someone who was bad. This sensation became more realized when I was in High School. It became a fine tuned instrument by the 10th grade and I could tell immediately if anyone was near me that had ill intentions for me or someone else around me. It all traced back to my left ear. I know.. this sounds nuts.. but bear with me. I began to get a tingling sensation in my left ear and it never failed, if I was to turn around, I would see someone who I didn’t like, usually a bully who was following me and seconds later they would attack me. I started to pay attention to the tingling, when I felt it.. I would dash into an office or a teachers room and sure enough, moments later, some jerk would coolly walk by and flash me an evil smile. I have no idea where this sensation came from or how it began. Over the years, it has really come in handy. Sometimes I won’t have it for months at a time and then other times it will happen frequently and when it does.. I know that something or someone is around me that has an evil intention. The story I was reading is here: http://ift.tt/1E1wLjB
Granted.. I don’t believe everything that this person in the article is saying.. her theology is a bit off, but her experience is strangely similar to mine. Two months ago I was out visiting a local country club, I had been invited by the manager to have a delicious meal on the house. The managers wife is a wonderful woman and we always have engaging conversations. She told me during the meal that part of the manor house is haunted by what they believe is the previous owner who was an eccentric lady who became somewhat of a recluse, never leaving her home for the last 30 years of her life and dying there. I was intrigued immediately and asked for a tour of the home. We went up in the part of the house that is said to be occupied by this lady, I didn’t experience anything until I was leaving, as I walked down a long hallway out of the main bedroom I stopped to talk to my friend for a few moments. All the sudden, my left ear pricked up and as I turned back towards the bedroom, I saw a dark shadow move from behind the door jamb by the right wall, to the other side of the door jamb. My friend heard a noise as well as she had looked over at the same time and saw the same thing as I did. It sent a bitter chill down my spine. I couldn’t believe it had just happened like that. I was creeped out to say the least. Sometimes I will have these feelings when I was alone, I’ll sense that something just isn’t right in my location and I’ll quickly say a hail mary or St. Michael the Archangel prayer and the experience will pass as quickly as it began.
I don’t think I am unique in experiencing this. I’m thinking after reading that article, that perhaps other people experience this as well. It’s a type of God-Sense, something that God gives us to protect us from evil. Have you experienced something link this in your life and if so, would you mind sharing it?
It’s been quite a while since I last wrote anything on this blog. I’ve had tons of things I have wanted to say, but not a lot of time to focus on writing. I started lent out on a truly sacrificial note by coming down with the flu on Ash Wednesday and it was hell from that moment on. As best as my memory can serve me, I have never been so sick as I was during this bout with the flu. Outside of a few memorable heart surgeries that were particularly hard to re-cooperate from, this illness knocked me off my feet. I’m on day 13 and am still having a hard time making it to work, although that being said, I missed almost 2 weeks of work. About a week into it, I landed in the ER with what the doctor thought was pneumonia, thankfully I didn’t have that, but the ER doc said I have restrictive airway disease which makes breathing difficult during colds or temperature changes (great). I had to embrace my cross and I offered it up for a special intention. I was just talking with Mom tonight who told me that if we truly understood the value of suffering that we would look forward to as a dear old friend. Well.. I know in my humanity that while my spiritual side may yearn to suffer for efficacious graces.. my human side would not. Alas.. I think that is why I feel stuck in a rut. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t been well lately, but I feel like there is a great darkness looming over me at the present moment. The darkness is preying on my fears. My fear of being alone for the rest of my life, the fear of not finding what God wants me to do with my life, the fear of losing my job… fears… endless fears. It weighs on me like a great mill stone about my neck.
At the same time that I experience these fears.. I can hear Jesus speaking to me through the scriptures and sometimes the verse Matthew 11:28 “Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest”. I think of St. John the Beloved who laid his head upon the chest of Christ and I ask God if I can do such a thing to him spiritually. I’ll grab a rosary and say some hail mary’s meditating on our Lord and that seems to bring some comfort. But I can’t shake the feeling that there is something missing from my life.. there is something that I am lacking and I don’t know what it is. And the devil.. that sly fox.. he knows all my fears and he plays me like a well tuned guitar and I play right into his hands every single time. I just don’t know what to do with my life and I don’t know where I am going, which is unsettling. I feel like my life is an empty jar right now… something is missing.
I’ll try to write more … spiritual things soon. =0