Sunday, December 05, 2010


I hate to blog about this, but it is something that I need to ask.

I know that it is a tough time economically for everyone.  As a Postulant with a religious community, I find myself needing many things and not having the money to purchase the necessities of life.  I would like to offer something in exchange for your generosity, I will keep each and every one of you in my prayers.  Please attach a prayer request with your donation.

Thank You!  Donate Here

Prayer from the Heart

This past month has been filled with many sufferings.  However, the graces that I have received during these moments of sorrow, have been plentiful and heart warming.  I often find myself in the chapel with a burning desire to sit before Our Lord in silence.  Last week I was kneeling before the tabernacle asking God to open my heart to interior prayer when I heard these words flow out from my heart:

Oh Jesus, I throw myself at thy feet
I am a sinful and sorrowful soul
I lack charity for others and I lack peace of heart
I am sending my dear guardian angel to bring a fragment of my soul to lay before your throne
Though, I am so unworthy to lie within your presence
I ask that you take my uncleanliness and purify it
Make my soul as white as snow
As pure as the mantle of thy Mother
Set it on fire with your divine love
Jesus, I wish for you to cleanse my eyes of all they have witnessed
My ears of all they have heard
My tongue of all it's spoken
My heart of all it's darkness
And my soul of it's disease
I give you my mind, so it will only think of you
I give you my tongue so it will only speak your words
I give you my heart to cleave as thy wish
I give you my eyes to only see your face in everyone I meet
and I give you my ears so they will only hear what you wish them to hear
I open myself up to you
Every channel and portal, I throw open to welcome your graces
Fill me with your divine love, peace, and joy
Create in me a tabernacle fit to hold your precious body and blood
I beg of you to have mercy on me
Send down your Holy Spirit and let your light be my light
I am yours and everything that I have is yours
Do with me as thy will.

I then meditated on these words and let them sink in.  This is one of my first experiences with such a prayer coming from the heart.  I hope it is not the last.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Persecutions - How to deal with them

Today in class we were discussing persecutions and how to deal with them when they enter our lives.  Life when lived well presents many opportunities to suffer through various persecutions, how we react to these determines how efficacious they are towards our spiritual life.  Sometimes when we least expect it, we will encounter a persecution from a family member, loved one, friend, or someone we don't even know.  As long as you are standing by truth and the teachings of the Church you will know interiorly that you are in the right and that the suffering that your experiencing can be offered up to help bring grace into the lives of someone who may really need it at that particular moment.

Just today I was persecuted by someone I never met because I made a stand against something this person had a different opinion on.  This week during a mass with Cardinal Rigali, he spoke on how to respond to someone that is persecuting you.  He said that we must respond with charity, no matter how insulting the person is or angry in their message to us.  It is our duty as Catholic's to respond with love, for it is through love that we will open their hearts and minds to the will of God.

Love as Christ would love, Forgive as Christ forgives, and Pray as Christ prays.

Friday, October 29, 2010

When it Rains it Pours!

You know what they say, when it rains it pours?  It's a proven fact and this week has been a great example of what happens when a hurricane of bad news just hit's you right on the head.   This has been one of my toughest weeks yet in the Seminary.  To be honest with myself, I have to say that I never really learned how to study and these last 2 months I have really struggled to learn a good pattern of study and now I think I have finally found one that works for me.  Unfortunately, I discovered this new study habit only a week before midterms.  That being said, I did study my butt off for my midterms and 3 of them I felt I did very well on.

After a week full of trials and disappointments, I was looking forward to today when I would get back the test results for a class that I feel I did very well in grade wise.  What I got was a complete shocker and I'm just at a loss for words.  I'm trying to compartmentalize this new disappointment on top of everything else that has happened this week.  I look forward to next week, the Seminary will be having 40 hrs of adoration, which will give me adequate time to rest, spend time with our Lord, and hopefully forget about all the pain from this week.

Please pray for me, that I will be given the strength to handle all trials I am being sent and will be sent in the future.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Wanderings of a Pilgrim living within the confines of a Monastery

I have now been in the order for a little over 2 months and what a journey I have been on!  It is amazing how much one can go through upon entering a new place and being introduced to new experiences. 

Fr. Gould mentioned to my Mom a few weeks ago that there is only 1 Catholic Priest that has been made a saint, however with religious there are many.  At first I was incredulous, however, after living in this life, I can totally see how if one perseveres there are many opportunities to reach the heights of sanctity.  There are many different people living in community, and each has a differenct personality and sometimes they can rub you the wrong way, which takes time and patience to learn to deal with and prayer to love them all the more.  I can only imagine how crazy I make some of them with my weird idiosyncricies! =)

As one brother once told me when I was annoyed one day.  "There are saints and there are saint-makers"... How True!!! =)  I hope that I am a saint and not a saint maker!

I must say that this life is absolutely wonderful.. don't get me wrong, sometimes I wish I was back home in my comfort zone.  However, this life is truly great, my brothers are good men all trying to serve and love the Lord and my life is one filled with prayer, joy, peace, and happiness.  I have had mystical experiences and close encounters with the Lord here and I hope that God will continue to bless my vocation and help me to persevere to the Novitiate House in LeRoy, NY next year.

May Our Lady of Divine Mercy Bless you!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Sinner's Practical Guide to Sainthood

As a young child I loved to read the lives of the saints and all their heroic adventures and the amazing things they did.  One question always remained in my mind, how does one become a saint?  One thing that I saw consistently through each of these stories was that each person had a deep prayer life and a filial love for God and his Holy Mother.

Another virtue that I saw in each of these gentle souls was a depth of love for their fellow man and a generous nature in which they truly loved each person regardless of status in society, wealth, or cleanliness.  Many of these men and women lived very poor existences and relied upon the generous nature of others for support, food, and clothing.  I also noticed upon further reading that some of these great saints endured great mortifications to their bodies in order to mortify their bodies of it's sinfulness.  A passage stands out in my mind from one of the readings long ago "The soul should never be a slave to the body, instead the body, should be a slave to the soul".  That in it's essence, in order to reach peace with ones spirituality, the body needs to be mortified and not given into over every little whim or desire.

When I was 20, a Priest from Holy Angels Catholic Church in Mt. Airy, NC told a story one day about a young man from the parish who wanted to be a saint.  This young man had read a story about a saint who dug through trash and ate rotten food as a penance and offering towards God to help save souls.  One Sunday morning, this Priest heard some noise out behind his house, it sounded like an animal was going through his trash.  He grabbed a broom and stepped out the backdoor and switched on the light to find this young man on his knees with a small pile of items including rotten apples, tomatoes, and other rotting food that Father had put out for the trash man.  He was bewildered and asked the young man what the devil he was doing, he was surprised with the answer he was given and then invited him into his house where they had a nice chat.  He told the young man that the path to sainthood wasn't paved in rotten food.  What was done in the 14th century and worked for one saint who was called to live that life wasn't exactly what this young man needed to do in order to reach heaven and sainthood.  He explained that we are all called to be saints, however, we become saints by living the lives that God called us to live.  Each of us are different, some are married and through the married life they are given crosses to carry.  Carrying those crosses and living their lives devoted to God and making sacrifices will lead a person seeking saintliness into a holy life.  In all the paths of life that we are called, whether it be the married, consecrated, or single life, we are all called to become saints without having to dig through someone's trash.

Years later, I found myself in the same predicament this young man had entered into, just in a different way.  As my faith began to grow deeper, I began to study the lives of the saints and the different paths of mortification that they did.  After finding several references to hair shirts, coarse clothing, and bindings.. I came across the cilice.  Oh, what a tool this looked like.  It was a sharp chain that a person could put around their arm or leg to inflict pain that you would then offer up and sacrifice for.  I thought that sounded pretty easy to do, if I didn't like it, then I would just take it off and try something different.  I searched for weeks for a cilice and couldn't find anything.  Finally I came across a Christian site in Spain that was offering a cilice for a good sum of money, I forked out the change, I figured it was a good investment towards my sainthood which was practically on order.  A week later, I got my package and eagerly ripped it open to find a beautiful gold colored spiked chain that looked like the spike strips used in high speed police chases.  I sat down in my chair and eagerly wrapped the chain around my upper leg right below the knee cap and then tied the leather strips together.  It was painful, I found myself staring at this thing and just waiting for the super white halo to plop on my head as if this was the last thing needed in order to earn my wings.  A few minutes went by and I decided to stand up and take a walk around with it on.  As I jumped to my feet, a searing realization entered my mind, all the blood that was trapped int he sitting position shot up and as my leg expanded, I came to an even more painful realization that I now had a chain of practical barbwire wrapped around my leg with the pressure growing stronger every second.  I tried to walk, but it was to painful, so I bent down to try and undue it and again came to a shocking discovery that the pressure had caused the metal bond in a fashion that I couldn't get, besides that I noticed a few holes beginning to bleed and that was when I knew I had to get it off!  I ended up half jumping, half dragging my painful leg and body over to the garage and tool box to get the pliers.  It took a few moments to get it off, but it felt like ages had gone by.  The pain was mind numbing.

The lesson I learned as I sat back down in my chair and stared at this simple chain was... that sainthood doesn't happen because of something that we do.  It happens, because of the life that we live and how we live that life in regards to our love and faith in God. I could chop off my toe and say it was for God.  That doesn't make me saint.  However, living my life totally for God and doing his will when it is against my own and doing things because they are the right things to do and not because I think it will get me something.. THAT is in it's most basic form, the Sinners Guide to Sainthood.  The picture at the top of this post is my cilice, I found it this week while going through some old boxes.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

My Journey into Religious Life

I remember as a young man being asked by my Priest Monsignor Duncan if I wanted to serve on the altar.  I was at the age of 10 at that time and was terrified of the prospect of getting on the altar and serving in front of all those people.  It wasn't until two year later when Monsignor retired and we were assigned a new Priest did I finally answer his request.  From the first moment I set foot on that altar I was attached to it like a magnet to a refrigerator!  I served 8 years until I moved from that Parish in Mount Airy, NC to Warrenton, Va at the age of 20.  I tried to serve at my new parish, however the Priest said I was too old and my career as an altar boy officially came to a screeching halt and I entered retirement... much to my sadness.

I believe it was while I was serving I felt the call to be a Priest.  I had always dreamt of it as a child, Mom was always purchasing a new saints book for me and I loved to read their lives and adventures over and over again.  By the time that I hit my early 20's, the last thing I wanted to actually do was be a religious, I wanted money and the fantasies of the world!  I began to do stupid things in my life, like fall into the trap of Multi-Level-Marketing (MLM) where I was continually being sucked into fantasy of working from home and being a rich man and I ate it all up, I followed everything these people told me.. I hassled family and friends, called people endlessly on the phone, and then even went to the extremes of badgering Christ about it and then getting mad when he didn't drop that pot of gold into my lap. I remember one particular day, now that I look back on it years after it happened.. I just shake my head and laugh at the mere stupidity of myself..  I was in a new program called "Club Colossal"  (just the name rings of stupidity) and I was convinced as a founding member that I was going to be making 10,000 bucks a month selling leads and selling positions in my downline.  So I ran into Church and had this wild idea that I would make a deal with God that I would prob never live up to.  I ran up to the altar in a frenzy and knelt down and told God that when I was making 10k a month I would give it all up for him and do whatever he wanted, ie: follow him as a religious.  

And so I found myself lost once again in the turmoil of scam and now I realize that God not only heard my prayer, he answered it.  Granted, it wasn't in the way that I wanted.. but here I find myself in 10K of debt and entering  religious life!!  Ironic isn't it?  HAHA!  God has a sense of humor.  He must have looked at me and just shook his head and said "Child, I accept, however this will not end the way in which you originally proposed".  

At first I ran from the idea of a vocation...  I would do anything and everything to avoid even the topic of it.  I began to become just a shell of what I was meant to be.  One one side I would feign holiness in Church, but as soon as I got home I become the soulless cyber addict.  I spent years and years just trying to reach a life of richness and I spent gobs and gobs of the money that I worked hard for in my day jobs.  There were definitely times in those years that I had an inkling of a calling and as time went by I continued to feel a call grow stronger and stronger and I would find that the more that I tried to avoid it, it would rise from stangers who would tell me that I should look into religious life or I should be a Priest.  Some morning I would wake up in bed and have some religious song  playing in my head or I would wake up with a dream of being a monk or a Priest.  It was around the age of 25 that I began to take my life more seriously and the prospect of a vocation, I began what would be a major conversion in my life.  I finally stopped running from God and one day stopped by Church and told him that I was open to what he wanted in my life and if he wanted me to be Priest then I would do as he asked.  It was at and around that time that I felt a peace enter my life.  I began to say the rosary again, daily, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day.  I began devotions, adoration, stations of the cross, spending time in Church and getting to know Our Lord more intimately.  

I remember one day kneeling down in Church before mass and I asked God what he wanted me to be, where I should follow him through.  I had no more finished my prayer when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and ask if they could sit down, it was just a few moments before sunday mass began and the pews were filling up fast.  I remember not even looking over, just scooting down a few feet and then sitting back and looking over at the person who had tapped me on my shoulder...IT WAS A MONK IN A FULL HABIT!!!!!  I almost fell out of the pew.. and then looked around and saw that the pew in front of me was empty and the pew behind me and yet this man chose to sit in my pew.  I took it as a sign from God and was like "WOW!".  It was a Benedictine monk and remember being just enthralled with the man, he probably felt suffocated by the sheer amount of looks I was giving him during and after mass. =)  

After mass, I followed this man outside and we spoke.  There were a few things that just threw up red flags for me immediately.  1. He was also a police officer for Prince William County Police (that was a big one)  2.  His monastery was in Indiana and he was living outside of it.  3.  He had two children who he was taking care of.  None the less, given all these things, I was enthralled with the man and believed everything he said, he had an answer to ever question I gave him and I even thought about answering his request and visiting his monastery.   But again, these questions continued to bother me and I felt I needed to visit a Benedictine monastery and ask them about this man.  So I went up to the oldest Benedictine Monastery in the USA in Latrobe, PA and visited for a week of vocation discernment.  It was there that they had a book of all the Priests, Monks, Convents, and Monasteries in the world that were Catholic.  We didn't find his monastery, in fact after further research we found that he was an Episcopalian and his monastery was founded as a joint place between a Buddhist 'woman' leader and a man who one day decided he wanted to start a monastery.. 

I returned home with a broken heart feeling utterly betrayed by this cop.  When I got home I learned that he was not properly vetted by our Priest and returned one weekend as an ordained Priest from a Caribbean island and concelabrated mass with the Priest as well as heard confessions on a Saturday.  He also handled the money after mass.  Luckily nothing was missing, however when the Bishop found out about this sacrilege he was banned from all the Churches in the Diocese and the Priest that was originally at the Church was moved.  Needless to say I felt the Benedictines were not the ones for me and I continued my search.  I began to search online for religious orders and what I found were a bunch of liberal old men who didn't wear habits and had such things as prayer mazes at their monastery and other new age crap.  I  created a system that worked rather well.  I would visit a site and would go immediately to the pictures, if I saw a group of old men with gray hair and no habits I would close out the website and move on.  I sent out my name to several of the places that I found, however when looking into the further or visiting them I realized that they were not were I wanted to be.  

I let my vocation and the desire to slide and entered a dark period in my life.  I began to lose my love for the rosary and for Holy Mother and it was then that I found myself in a dark place that would take me years to escape from.  I ended up going to confession weekly for years confessing the same addictive things over and over again and not getting anywhere in my spiritual life.  Back in the fall of 2008 I found a silent retreat down in Hampton, Va and experienced a miracle from Mother Mary and had a second conversion.. this time it was to stay and brought me into a deep relationship with God.  It has taken me the last two years to come back in all totality with God and to have that relationship that I once had.. perhaps even deeper now.  It was back in 2008 during this period of renewal that I found a religious order known as the Mercedarian and got in contact with them.  I remember speaking with the then vocation Dir. Fr. Matthew Phelan who is now the Superior and he invited me up for a visit and around the time that I was thinking of going up to see, my much beloved Grandfather passed away unexpectedly.  I told Fr. Matt that I needed to mourn and I would get back in touch with him when I was ready.  Little did I know, I was going to forget about them.  It wasn't the right time for me to go up there.  

I started a new job with a Catholic Charity in December of 2009 and couldn't attend the March for Life in D.C of this year.  Mom however, was able to go and in the hundreds of thousands of people in the march.. who did Mom end up next too?  Yup.. the Mercedarian Friars!  She came home all excited about an order of young guys that she had just met and wanted me to look into them.  I remember thinking to myself.. this group sounds really familiar.  I looked them up and realized that I had lost contact.. I read my last email back in 2008 and quietly said "wow...".  Was it mere coincidence that Mom ended up next to them?  I think not.. it was providence, this was God working in my life.  Mom told me that one of the ladies from Church told her after the March for Life "I feel Michael is going to have something to do with this order".  What she said range true.  I got back in contact with the Friars who were now under the direction of a new vocational director "Fr. Joseph Eddy"..  Fr. Joe asked me if i wanted to come up and visit and I said absolutely.  I went up on March 15th and stayed for a week.  I spent a day at St. Charles Seminary and had a marvelous time.  All the brothers were very welcoming and the house was absolutely beautiful.  I felt right at home and I had a spiritual high the entire time I was there.  I enjoyed everything, from the daily prayer, to the community rosary and recreation.  I knew this is where I wanted to be.  

While there I spent some time in the beautiful chapel located in the house and asked God for 3 signs if this is where he wanted me to be.  

1.  The order would invite me in
2.  I would have an outward sign from someone not associated with the order that this is where I should be.
3.  That my debts would be paid off or the order would accept me and allow me to work something out with them in regards to the money that I owe.

All 3 things have been answered in this order:
Upon my last day there, Fr. Joe told me I was a good fit and asked if I wanted to apply.  First sign was answered.  
I got home and excitedly was telling Mom all about the order and my experiences and where the Novitiate house was... in Leroy, NY.  Mom was like.. "Hold up.. are they the Fathers of Our Lady of Divine Mercy?" .. I told her "No, the Fathers of Mercy are a different order".  Mom said, "No, I this isn't the Fathers of Mercy".  We bantered back and forth for a few minutes and then she told me hang on .. she was going upstairs to get a card from a group she has been dealing with in Leroy, Ny.  Mom came back downstairs and told me that since I was born she has been having masses said for me and prayers said through a group called "The Fathers of Our lady of Divine Mercy" in LeRoy.. she laid down the card and I flipped it over to find none other than the seal of the Mercedarians and it was signed by Father Provincial!!!!!!!  I almost fell out of my chair. Here was my second sign.. neither she nor I knew that this was the same order!  It nearly blew my socks off.  =)  God answers these things in mysterious ways.  My third sign was answered as well.  

I went back up to the Philadelphia House in May for my grueling psychological exams and was accepted into the Postulancy program on June 2nd.  =D  

On August 20th I begin a new chapter in my life.  May God and all of his angels assist me.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Fr. Jack and Obedience

My late Spiritual Director Fr. Jack Fullen was a wise and holy man and I was blessed to receive many lessons on spirituality and living our lives in obedience.  In March after taking him out for what would be his last trip to the House of Mercy, I brought him back to his house and got him situated in his house and bowed my head to receive his parting blessing.  Afterwards I asked him when I could come back over to have some spiritual direction and he said that he was booked up for the next week doing his daily physical therapy and exercises at the house and he would be too tired to work with me.  I jokingly suggested that he forget the exercise at his house and instead relax.  He reprimanded me rather curtly that he had been ordered by his doctor to do this for his health and he was not going to shirk on his duty, no matter how sick he felt, he was acting in total obedience.

I marveled at his courage and total submission to the will of God.  I went home with this on my mind and realized that he had just given me one of his greatest lessons, Obedience!  Here was a man that suffered daily, felt awful all the time, and could do what most of us do - disobey the doctors orders to suit our own well being.  However he did not do any of that, instead he did his exercises daily and tried his best to recover and live a normal life again.  In the end, that was not the will of God.

I remember a saintly Monsignor from my childhood, he was on Dialysis for the last 10 years of his life and the doctors told him that he could only drink 16oz of water a day and only eat so much.  He measured out his drink and food for each day, he was completely obedient to everything his doctors asked of him and he never complained about anything.  Fr. Jack and Monsignor Duncan both constantly carried the words upon their lips 'Thy Will be Done'.  

Let us pray today and ask God to teach us how to be Obedient to his will and that of our superiors.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Elizabeth - A Saint in the Making

A few months ago, while making some rounds at the nursing home next to Fauquier Hospital as a volunteer Chaplain; I came across an older lady named Elizabeth who is a Catholic and a real dear woman.  Elizabeth is the diamond in the rough for me, when I first came across her, she was very quiet, and was enjoying listening to the TV through the hand held hospital bed speaker that was strewn across her lap.  At first glance, I wasn't quite sure how to approach her, I looked around her room for some type of connection, something that I could use as an introduction or starting point, perhaps a family portrait or some other object that would mean a great deal to her.  As I looked around I didn't really see a family presence in her room, I noticed a cross on her wall with two rosaries hanging from it and then noticed that she had a 1 decade rosary in her hand and she was earnestly twisting each bead as she whispered the Hail Mary over and over again.

After watching Elizabeth for a few seconds I entered her room and introduced myself.  I noticed she quickly looked me over and then gave me the most beautiful smile.  I was put to ease, but it was hard to understand her words.  As I leaned over to her mouth so I could hear her better, I noticed that she had two Immaculate Medals on and she was quite happy to show them to me. This was my first impression of Elizabeth, a woman of great faith, living a life devoted totally to God.

Over the next couple of months I continued to visit Elizabeth at least once a week, sometimes twice.  I found out that she loves to write and jot down notes and thoughts on her stationary and I asked her if there was anything that I could get her.  She gave me her signature smile and whispered that she would like some bobby pins, paper clips, and an organizer to put her papers in - if it wasn't too much trouble.  =)  I got Mom to go buy the supplies and a few days later went into her room with her items, her face lit up and she almost cried, I had also brought her a statue of Our Lady of Fatima which she was so pleased to hold in her fragile little hands.

Elizabeth told me a few weeks ago that she won't be here much longer and not to feel like I need to bring her anything new.  She is suffering from a terminal illness and I believe only has about 6 months to a year left.  That being the case, I am going to go in and visit her as often as I can, her family I found out live in Connecticut and it is difficult for them to come down to see her, however I was pleased to see today that they sent her a picture of her 3 yr old grand-baby.  Three weeks ago I got Fr. Melmer to accompany me to the Nursing home to visit some patients and give them last rites, we made a visit to Elizabeth's room and she almost leaped with joy at the sight of Father.  Fr. gave her last rites and then communion and Elizabeth was so happy that she shed a few tears.  I began bringing her reading materials each week so she doesn't have to reach the same things over and over again.

Today, I picked Mom up after Holy Hour and took her over to visit Elizabeth and another patient in the nursing home.  I also brought a new statue for Elizabeth (the old one got broken by a cleaning crew), and also brought in some new reading material.  She was happy to tell me that she spent 5 hrs reading the last magazine that I brought her and as always she was diligently saying the rosary while we entered and during our visit with her.  I visited one other patient before seeing Elizabeth and it was amazing the difference I felt upon entering Elizabeth's room.  While the other ladies room was 'cold' or desolate feeling, empty rather, she is a fallen away Catholic who refuses to go to confession before receiving communion and actually got into a long drawn out fight with Fr. Melmer over that very issue.  Upon entering Elizabeth's room tonight I felt a noted difference, a 'scent' of holiness as I walked into her room, as if I could feel the angels in the room and was hit by the grace that was flowing from Elizabeth's bed.

I am learning each time that I visit Elizabeth a new lesson in my own life.  To persevere, to love others more, and to truly pray.  I am reading a book right now titled "The Way of a Pilgrim" and in it, the pilgrim is learning about interior prayer and how to truly unite ourselves with God with continual prayer in the heart, mind, and spirit.  I get reminded of this prayer when visiting Elizabeth, here she is, suffering in a hospital bed and instead of feeling sorry for herself or despairing, she is facing the reality of her death and she is using her time here to pray, to truly unite herself to God every moment of everyday.  I believe that woman is not only holy, I believe she is a saint in the making!

May we be blessed to live our days like those being lived by Elizabeth.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Musings of a Pilgrim

It has been months since I have posted on my much neglected blog. Much has happened in my life, many things have changed, most for the better.

I started a new job in December 2009 working as the director for a small non-profit in Manassas, Va serving the poor in the area. Much to my disappointment the job didn't work out and I got laid off on March 15th 2010.

During the time working at the Catholic Charity I began to look into a religious order and applied for entry. I made two visits, my first in March and my second in May.

I have a few major obstacles in front of me that could very well block my entry or delay my entry into the order by a year. Either way, it is all in God's hands.

In early May my spiritual director Fr. Jack Fullen died (unexpectantly) and I feel like a boat without a sail.. I'm just going wherever the sea takes me. I really need to get a new spiritual director, that is something I should look into this week.

On other news, I just got a new pacemaker installed (installed, right? Odd sounding?).. that went well. Although it feels like I just shot in the chest, things are good and I am improving everyday.

I am also still volunteering at my local hospital and that is very rewarding.

As for now that is all that has gone on for the last 6 months...

Until next time!

God Bless,